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UNIFORM    WITH    "THE    REGISTER." 


33g  tf)c  .Same  lutfjor  : 

THE     SLEEPING-- CAR, 


"This  delightful  comedietta  is  written  with  all  the  exqui 
site  literary  skill  of  which  Mr.  Howells  is  so  thoroughly  a 
master,  and  every  page  sparkles  with  bright  touches  of 
dainty  humor."  —  Syracuse  Journal. 

"  Humor  and  ingenuity  rare  both  in  kind  and  degree."  — 
Atlantic  Monthly. 

"  Delicious  humor."  —  The  Pilot. 

''•  Brimful  of  fun."  —  Boston  Gazette. 

"Amusement  of  the  richest  and  most  genial  kind.''  — 
Good  Literature. 

For  sale  by  Booksellers.     Sent,  post-paid,  on  receipt  of 
price  by  the  Publishers, 

JAMES    R.    OSGOOD    &    CO.,    Boston. 


THE     REGISTER 

Jatce 

ft 


THE 


REGISTER 


JFarce 


BY  W.    D.   HOWELLS 


BOSTON 

JAMES   R.  OSGOOD   AND   COMPANY 
1884 


COPYRIGHT,  1883,  BY  HARPER  &  BROTHERS  ; 

AND    1884,    BY   W.    D.    HOWELLS. 


All  rights  reserved. 


JOHN  WILSON   AND  SON,    CAMBRIDGE. 


THE    EEGISTER 
jFarce, 


i. 

MISS    ETHEL    REED    AND    MISS    HENRIETTA 
SPAULDING. 

TN  an  upper  chamber  of  a  boarding- 
-*-  house  in  Melanchthon  Place,  Boston, 
a  mature,  plain  young  lady,  with  every 
appearance  of  establishing  herself  in  the 
room  for  the  first  time,  moves  about,  be 
stowing  little  touches  of  decoration  here 
and  there,  and  talking  with  another  young 
lady,  whose  voice  comes  through  the  open 
doorway  of  an  inner  room. 


JVJ812751 


6  THE   REGISTER. 

Miss  Ethel  Reed,  from  within  :  "  What 
in  the  world  are  3^011  doing,  Nettie  ?  " 

Miss  Henrietta  Spaulding  :  u  Oh,  stick 
ing  up  a  household  god  or  two.  What 
are  you  doing?" 

Miss  Reed:  "  Despairing." 

Miss  Spaulding  :  ' '  Still  ?  " 

Miss  Reed,  tragically  :  ' '  Still!  How 
soon  did  you  expect  me  to  stop?  I  am 
here  on  the  sofa,  where  I  flung  myself 
two  hours  ago,  and  I  don't  think  I  shall 
ever  get  up.  There  is  no  reason  why  I 
ever  should." 

Miss  Spaulding,  suggestively:  "Din 
ner." 

Miss  Reed:  "  Oh,  dinner  !  Dinner,  to 
a  broken  heart !  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  ' (  I  don't  believe  your 
heart  is  broken." 


THE   REGISTER.  7 

Miss  Reed :  "  But  I  'tell  you  it  is  !  I 
ought  to  know  when  my  own  heart  is 
broken,  I  should  hope.  What  makes  you 
think  it  is  n't?" 

Miss  Spaulding:  u  Oh,  it's  happened 
so  often !  " 

Miss  Reed :  "But  this  is  a  real  case. 
You  ought  to  feel  my  forehead.  It 's  as 
hot!" 

Miss  Spaulding :  ' '  You  ought  to  get  up 
and  help  me  put  this  room  to  rights,  and 
then  you  would  feel  better." 

Miss  Reed:  "No  ;  I  should  feel  worse. 
The  idea  of  household  gods  makes  me 
sick.  Sylvan  deities  are  what  /  want ; 
the  great  god  Pan  among  the  cat-tails 
and  arrow-heads  in  the  'ma'sh'  at  Ponk- 
wasset  ;\  the  diyads  of  the  birch  woods  — 
there  are  no  oaks  —  the  nymphs  that 


8  THE   REGISTER. 

haunt  the  heights  and  hollows  of  the 
dear  old  mountain  ;  the  —  " 

Miss  Spaulding:  "Wha-a-at?  I  can't 
hear  a  word  }TOU  saj'." 

Miss  Eeed :  c '  That 's  because  you  keep 
fussing  about  so.  Why  don't  you  be 
quiet,  if  you  want  to  hear?"  She  lifts 
her  voice  to  its  highest  pitch,  with  a 
pause  for  distinctness  between  the  words  : 
"  I  'm  heart-broken  for  —  Ponkwasset. 
The  diyads  —  of  the  — birch  woods.  The 
nymphs  —  and  the  great —  god  —  Pan — 
in  the  reeds  —  by  the  river.  And  all  — 
that  —  sort  of—  thing  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  You  know  very 
well  you're  not." 

'Miss  Reed:  "I'm  not?  What's  the 
reason  I'm  not?  Then  what  am  I  heart 
broken  for  ?  " 


THE   REGISTER. 

Miss  Spaulding:  "You're  not  heart 
broken  at  all.  .You  know  very  well  that 
he  '11  call  before  we  've  been  here  twenty- 
Tour  hours." 

Miss  Reed:  "Who?" 

Miss  Spaulding:  "  The  great  god 
Pan." 

-Miss  Reed:  "Oh,  how  cruel  you  are, 
to  mock  me  so !  Come  in  here  and 
sympathize  a  little  !  Do,  Nettie." 

Miss  Spaulding:  "  No  ;  you  come  out 
here  and  utilize  a  little.  I  'm  acting  for 
}Tour  best  good,  as  they  say  at  Ponk- 
wasset." 

'Miss  Reed :  ' '  When  they  want  to  be 
disagreeable ! " 

Miss  Spaulding:  "  If  this  room  isn't 
in  order  by  the  time  he  calls,  you  '11  be 
everlastingly -disgraced. 


10  THE   REGISTER. 

Miss  Reed:  "I'm  that  now.  I  can't 
be  more  so — there  's  that  comfort.  What 
makes  you  think  he  '11  call  ?  " 

Miss  Spaulding:  "  Because  he's  a 
gentleman,  and  will  want  to  apologize. 
He  behaved  very  rudely  to  you." 

Miss  Reed:  "  No,  Nettie;  /behaved 
rudely  to  him.  Yes !  Besides,  if  he 
behaved  rudety,  he  was  no  fpentleman. 
It 's  a  contradiction  in  terms,  don't  3-011 
see  ?  But  I  '11  tell  you  what  I  'm  going 
to  do  if  he  comes.  I  'm  going  to  show  a 
proper  spirit  for  once  in  my  life.  I  'ra 
going  to  refuse  to  see  him.  You've  got 
to  see  him." 

Miss  Spaulding  :     "  Nonsense  !  " 

Miss  Reed:  "Why  nonsense?  Oh, 
wiry  ?  Expound  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding:  "Because  he  wasn't 


THE   REGISTER. t  11 

rude  to  me,  and  he  does  n't  want  to  see 
me.  Because  I  'm  plain  and  you  're 
pretty." 

Miss  Reed:  "  I'm  not!  You  know  it 
perfectly  well.  I  'm  hideous  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  ' 4  Because  I  'm  poor, 
and  3'ou  're  a  person  of  independent 
property." 

Miss  B&d :  u  Dependent  property,  I 
should  call  it :  just  enough  to  be  useless 
on  !  But  that 's  insulting  to  him.  How 
can  you  say  it 's  because  I  have  a  little 
money?  " 

Miss  Spaulding  :  "  Well,  then,  I  won't. 
I  take  it  back.  I'll  say  it's  because 
you're  young,  and  I'm  old." 

Miss  Reed:  "  You  're  not  old.  You  're 
as  young  as  anybody,  Nettie  Spaulding. 
And  you  know  I  'm  not  young ;  I  'm 


12  THE    REGISTER. 

twent}'-seven,  if  I'm  a  day.  I'm  just 
dropping  into  the  grave.  Bub  I  can't 
argue  with  }Tou,. miles  off  so,  any  longer." 
Miss  Reed  appears  at  the  open  door,  drag 
ging  languidly  after  her  the  shawl  which 
she  had  evidently  drawn  round  her  on  the 
sofa;  her  fair  hair  is  a  little  disordered, 
and  she  presses  it  into  shape  with  one 
hand  as  she  comes  forward ;  a  lovely 
flush  vies  with  a  heavenly  pallor  in  her 
cheeks  ;  she  looks  a  little  pensive  in  the 
arching  eyebrows,  and  a  little  humorous 
about  the  dimpled  mouth.  ' '  Now  I  can 
prove  that  you  are  entirely  wrong. 
Where  were  you?  —  This  room  is  rather 
an  improvement  over  the  one  we  had  last 
winter.  There  is  more  of  a  view "  — 
she  goes  to  the  window —  tc  of  the  houses 
across  the  Place  ;  and  I  always  think  the 


•THE  REGISTER.  13 

swell  front  gives  a  pretty  shape  to  a  room. 
I  'm  sorry  they  've  stopped  building  them. 
Your  piano  goes  ver}r  nicely  into  that 
little  alcov6.  Yes,  we're  quite  palatial. 
And,  on  the  whole,  I  'm  glad  there 's  no 
fire-place.  It's  a  pleasure  at  times  ;  but 
for  the  most  part  it 's  a  vanity  and  a 
vexation,  getting  dust  and  ashes  over 
everything.  Yes  ;  after  all,  give  me  the 
good  old-fashioned,  clean,  convenient 
register  !  Ugh  !  My  feet  are  like  ice." 
She  pulls  an  easy-chair  up  to  the  register 
in  the  corner  of  the  room,  and  pushes 
open  its  valves  with  the  toe  of  her  slipper. 
As  she  settles  herself  luxuriously  in  the 
chair,  and  poises  her  feet  daintily  over 
the  register  :  "Ah,  this  is  something  like  ! 
Henrietta  Spaulding,  ma'am  !  Did  I  ever 
tell  you  that  you  were  the  best  friend  I 
have  in  the  world?" 


14  THE    REGISTER. 

Miss  Spaulding,  who  continues  her 
work  of  arranging  the  room:  "  Often." 

Miss  Reed:  "  Did  you  ever  believe  it  ?  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  "Never." 

Miss  Reed:   "  Why?" 

Miss  Spaulding,  thoughtfully  regard 
ing  a  vase.which  she  holds  in  her  hand, 
after  several  times  shifting  it  from  a 
bracket  to  the  corner  of  her  piano  and 
back:  "I  wish  I  could  tell  where  you 
do  look  best !  " 

Miss  Reed,  leaning  forward  wistfully, 
with  her  hands  clasped  and  resting  on  her 
knees:  "  I  wish  you  would  tell  me  why 
3Tou  don't  believe  you  're  the  best  friend 
I  have  in  the  world." 

Miss  Spaulding,  finally  placing  the 
vase  on  the  bracket:  "Because  you've 
said  so  too  often." 


THE   REGISTER.  15 

Miss  Reed:  "  Oh,  that's  no  reason! 
I  can  prove  to  you  that  you  are.  Who 
else  but  you  would  have  taken  in  a  home 
less  and  friendless  creature  like  me,  and 
let  her  sta}T  bothering  round  in  demoraliz 
ing  idleness,  while  you  were  seriously 
teaching  the  }'oung  idea  how  to  drub  the 
piano  ?  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  ' '  Anybod}'  who  want 
ed  a  room-mate  as  much  as  I  did,  and 
could  have  found  one  willing  to  pay  more 
than  her  share  of  the  lodging." 

Miss  Reed,  thoughtfully  :  ' '  Do  you 
think  so,  Henrietta?" 

Miss  Spaulding  :  u  I  know  so." 

Miss  Reed :  c '  And  you  're  not  afraid 
that  3rou  wrong  yourself?  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  ;  4  Not  the  least." 

Miss  Reed:  "  Well,  be  it  so — as  they 


16  THE   REGISTER. 

say  in  novels.  I  will  not  contradict  3-011 ; 
I  will  not  say  you  are  my  best  friend ;  I 
will  merely  sa\~  that  you  are  my  only 
friend.  Come  here,  Henrietta.  Draw  up 
3'onr  chair,  and  put  your  little  hand  in 
mine." 

Miss  Spaulding,  with  severe  distrust: 
"What  do  you  want,  Ethel  Reed?" 

Miss  Reed :  "I  want  —  I  want  —  to 
talk  it  over  with  you." 

Miss  Spaulding,  recoiling:  "I  knew 
it !  Well,  now,  we  've  talked  it  over 
enough  ;  we  've  talked  it  over  till  there 's 
nothing  left  of  it." 

Miss  Reed:  "  Oh,  there's  everything 
left !  It  remains  in  all  its  original  enor 
mity.  Perhaps  we  shall  get  some  new 
light  upon  it."  She  extends  a  pleading 
hand  toward  Miss  Spaulding.  u  Come. 


THE    REGISTER,  17 

Henrietta,  my  only  friend,  shake! — as 
the  4  good  Indians  '  say.  Let  your  Ethel 
pour  her  hacknej'ed  sorrows  into  3~our 
bosom.  (Such  an  uncomfortable  image, 
it  always  seems,  does  n't  it,  pouring  sor 
rows  into  bosoms  !  )  Come  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding,  decidedly:  "No,  I 
won't !  And  you  need  n't  try  wheedling 
any  longer.  I  won't  sympathize  with 
you  on  that  basis  at  all." 

Miss  Reed:  "  What  shall  I  try,  then, 
if  you  won't  let  me  try  wheedling?  " 

Miss  Spaulding,  going  to  the  piano 
and  opening  it :  "  Try  courage  ;  try  self- 
respect." 

Miss  Reed:  "Oh,  dear  !  when  I  have  n't 
a  morsel  of  either.  Are  }TOU  going  to 
practise,  you  cruel  maid?  " 

Miss  Spaiilding :    "  Of  course    I    am. 
2 


18  THE    REGISTER. 

It 's  half-past  four,  and  if  I  don't  do  it 
now  I  sha'n't  be  prepared  to-morrow  for 
Miss  Eobins  :  she  takes  this  piece." 

Miss  Reed:  "Well,  well,  perhaps  it's 
all  for  the  best.  If  music  be  the  food  of 
—  umph-umph  !  —  you  know  what !  — 
play  on."  They  both  laugh,  and  Miss 
Spaulding  pushes  back  a  little  from  the 
piano,  and  wheels  toward  her  friend, 
letting  one  hand  rest  slightly  on  the 
keys. 

Miss  Spaulding:  "  Ethel  Reed,  you're 
the  most  ridiculous  girl  in  the  world." 

Miss  Reed:  "Correct!" 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  And  I  don't  believe 
you  ever  were  in  love,  or  ever  will  be." 

Miss  Reed :  "  Ah,  there  you  wrong  me, 
Henrietta !  I  have  been,  and  I  shall  be 
—  lots  of  times." 


THE    REGISTER.  19 

•* 

Miss  Spaulding:  u  Well,  what  do  you 
want  to  say  now?  You  must  hurry,  for 
I  can't  lose  any  more  time." 

Miss  Reed:  "  I  will  free  my  mind  with 
neatness  and  dispatch.  I  simply  wish  to 
go  over  the  whole  affair,  from  Alfred  to 
Omaha ;  and  you  've  got  to  let  me  talk 
as  much  slang  and  nonsense  as  I  want. 
And  then  I  '11  skip  all  the  details  I  can. 
Will  you?" 

Miss  Spaulding,  with  impatient  pa 
tience :  "Oh,  I  suppose  so!" 

Miss  Reed :  c  4  That 's  very  sweet  of 
you,  though  you  don't  look  it.  Now, 
where  was  I?  Oh,  yes  ;  do  3^011  think  it 
was  forth-putting  at  all,  to  ask  him  if  he 
would  give  me  the  lessons  ?  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  It  depends  upon 
why  you  asked  him." 


20  THE   REGISTER. 

Miss  Reed :  "  I  asked  him  from  —  from 
—  Let  me  see  ;  I  asked  him  because  — 
from —  Yes,  I  say  it  boldly;  I  asked 
him  from  an  enthusiasm  for  art  and  a 
sincere  wish  to  learn  the  use  of  oil,  as  he 
called  it.  Yes  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  Are  you  sure  ?  " 

Miss  Reed:  "Sure?  Well,  we  will 
say  that  I  am,  for  the  sake  of  argument. 
And,  having  secured  this  basis,  the  ques 
tion  is  whether  I  was  n't  bound  to  offer 
him  pay  at  the  end,  and  whether  he 
was  n't  wrong  to  take  my  doing  so  in 
.dudgeon." 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  Yes,  I  think  he  was 
wrong.  And  the  terms  of  his  refusal 
were  very  ungentlemanly.  He  ought  to 
apologize  most  amply  and  humbly."  At 
a  certain  expression  in  Miss  Reed's  face, 


THE   REGISTER.  21 

she  adds,  with  severit}' :  "  Unless  you  're 
keeping  back  the  main  point.  You  usu 
ally  do.  Are  }'ou?  " 

Miss  Reed:  "No,  no.  I've  told  you 
everything  —  everything  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  Then  I  say?  as  I  said 
from  the  beginning,  that  he  behaved  very 
badly.  It  was  very  awkward  and  very 
painful,  but  you've  really  nothing  to 
blame  yourself  for." 

Miss  Reed,  ruefully  :  "  No-o-o  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding  :  i  c  What  do  you  mean 
by  that  sort  of  c  No '  ?  " 

Miss-  Reed :  c '  Nothing." 

Miss  Spaulding,  sternly:  "Yes,  you 
do,  Ethel." 

Miss  Reed:  "I  don't,  realty.  What 
makes  you  think  I  do  ?  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  "It  sounded  very  dis- 
honest."  — 


22  THE    REGISTER. 

Miss  Reed:  "  Did  it?  I  didn't  mean 
it  to."  Her  friend  breaks  down  with  a 
laugh,  while  Miss  Eeed  preserves  a  de 
mure  countenance. 

Miss  Spaulding :  c '  What  are  }*ou  keep 
ing  back?" 

Miss  Reed :  ' '  Nothing  at  all  —  less 
than  nothing !  I  never  thought  it  was 
worth  mentioning." 

Miss  Spaulding :  "Are  you  telling  me. 
the  truth?" 

Miss  Reed:  "  I  'm  telling  }'ou  the  truth 
and  something  more.  You  can't  ask  bet 
ter  than  that,  can  3- on  ?  " 

Miss  Spaulding,  turning  to  her  music 
again  :  "  Certainly  not." 

Miss  Reed,  in  a  pathetic  wail:  "  Oh, 
Henrietta,  do  you  abandon  me  thus? 
Well,  I  will  tell  you,  heartless  girl  Irr.I  've 


THE    REGISTER.  23 

only  kept  it  back  till  now  because  it  was 
so  extremely  mortifying  to  my  pride  as 
an  artist  —  as  a  student  of  oil.  Will  you 
hear  me  ? " 

Miss    Spaulding,    beginning   to   play: 

"No." 

Miss  Reed,  with  burlesque  wildness : 
"You  shall!"  Miss  S.  involuntarily 
desists.  "  There  was  a  momenta —  a  fatal 
moment  —  when  he  said  he  thought  he 
ought  to  tell  me  that  if  I  found  oil  amus 
ing  I  could  go  on  ;  but  that  he  did  n't 
believe  I  should  ever  learn  to  use  it,  and 
he  could  n't  let  me  take  lessons  from  him 
with  the  expectation  that  I  should. 
There  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding,  with  awful  reproach : 
""And  you  call  that  less  than  nothing? 
I  've  almost  a  mind  never  to  speak  to  you 


9 


24  THE    REGISTER. 

again,   Ethel.      How   could  you   deceive 
ine  so  ?  " 

Miss  Reed:  "  Was  it  realty  deceiving? 
/  should  n't  call  it  so.  And  I  needed 
your  sympathy  so  much,  and  I  knew  I 
should  n't  get  it  unless  you  thought  I  was 
altogether  in  the  right." 

Mss  Spauldiny:  "You  were  altogether 
in  the  wrong  !  And  it 's  you  that  ought 
to  apologize  to  him  —  on  your  bended 
knees.  How  could  you  offer  him  money 
after  that?  I  wonder  at  you,  Ethel !  ^ 

Miss  Reed:  "  Why  —  don't  you  see, 
Nettie  ?  —  I  did  keep  on  taking  the  les 
sons  of  him.  I  did  find  oil  amusing  — 
or  the  oilist  —  and  I  kept  on.  Of  course 
I  had  to,  off  there  in  a  farm-house  full  of 
lacty  boarders,  and  he  the  only  gentleman 
short  of  Crawford's.  Strike,  but  hear 


THE    REGISTER.  25 

me,  Henrietta  Spatilding  !  What  was  I 
to  do  about  the  half-dozen  lessons  I  had 
taken  before  he  told  me  I  should  never 
learn  to  use  oil?  Was  I  to  offer  to  pay 
him  for  these,  and  not  for  the  rest ;  or 
was  I  to  treat  the  whole  series  as  gratui 
tous  ?  I  used  to  lie  awake  thinking  about 
it.  I  've  got  some  little  tact,  but  I 
couldn't  find  any  way  out  of  the  trouble. 
It  was  a  box — yes,  a  box  of  the  deepest 
dye  !  And  the  whole  affair  having  got  to 
be  —  something  else,  don't  you  know  ?  — 
made  it  all  the  worse.  And  if  he  'd  only 
—  only —  But  he  did  n't.  Not  a  sylla 
ble,  not  a  breath  !  And  there  I  was.  I 
had  to  offer  him  the  money.  And  it's 
almost  killed  me  —  the  way  he  took  my 
offering  it,  and  now  the  way  you  take  it ! 
And  it's  all  of  a  piece."  Miss  Reed 


26  THE    REGISTER. 

sucldenl}'  snatches  her  handkerchief  from 
her  pocket  and  buries  her  face  in  it.  — 
"  Oh  dear  —  oh  dear  !  Oh  !  —  hu,  hu, 
hu ! " 

Miss  Spaulding,  relenting:  "It  was 
awkward." 

Miss  Reed :  ' '  Awkward  !  You  seem 
to  think  that  because  I  carry  things  off 
lightly  I  have  no  feeling." 

Miss  Spaulding :  "You  know  I  don't 
think  that,  Ethel." 

Miss  Reed,  pursuing  her  advantage : 
"I  don't  know  it  from  3*011,  Nettie.  I  've 
tried  and  tried  to  pass  it  off  as  a  joke, 
and  to  treat  it  as  something  funny ;  but 
I  can  tell  you  it's  no  joke  at  all." 

Miss  Spaulding,  sympathetically :  "I 
see,  dear." 

Miss  Reed:  "It's  not  that  I  care  for 
him  —  " 


THE   REGISTER.  27 

Miss  Spaulding :  ""Why,  of  course." 

Miss.  Reed:  "  For  I  don't,  in  the  least/ 
He  is  horrid  every  way  :  blunt,  and  rude, 
and  horrid.  I  never  cared  for  him.  But 
I  care  for  myself!  #He  has  put  me  in  the 
position  of  having  done  ah  unkind  thing 
—  an  unladylike  thing  —  when  I  was  onl}7 
doing  what  I  had  to  do.  Why  need  he 
have  taken  it  the  way  he  did?  Why 
couldn't  he  have  said  politely  that  he 
could  n't  accept  the  money  because  he 
had  n't  earned  it  ?  Even  that  would  have 
been  mortifying  enough.  But  he  must 
go  and  be  so  violent,  and  rush  off',  and  — 
Oh,  I  never  could  have  treated  anybody 
so!" 

Miss  Spaulding :  "Not  unless }TOU  were 
very  fond  of  them." 

Miss  Reed:  "What?" 


28  THE    REGISTER. 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  Not  unless  3*011  were 
veiy  fond  of  them." 

Miss  Reed,  putting  away  her  handker 
chief:  "  Qh,  nonsense,  Nettie !  He  never 
cared  anything  for  me,  or  he  could  n't 
have  acted  so.  But  no  matter  for  that. 
He  has  fixed  everything  so  that  it  can 
never  be  got  straight  —  never  in  the 
world.  It  will  just  have  to  remain  a 
hideous  mass  of  —  of  —  /  don't  know 
what ;  and  I  have  simply  got  to  go  on 
withering  with  despair  at  the  point  where 
I  left  off.  But  I  don't  care  !  That 's 
one  comfort." 

Miss  Spaulding :  u  I  don't  believe  he  '11 
let  3'ou  wither  long,  Ethel." 

Miss  Reed:  "He's  let  me  wither  for 
twentj'-four  hours  already !  But  it 's 
nothing  to  me,  now,  how  long  he  lets  me 


THE   REGISTER.  29 

wither.  I  'in  perfectly  satisfied  to  have 
the  affair  remain  as  it  is.  I  am  in  the 
right,  and  if  he  comes  I  shall  refuse  to 
see  him." 

Miss  Spaulding :  "Oh  no,  you  won't, 
Ethel !  " 

Miss  Reed:  "  Yes,  I  shall.  I  shall  re 
ceive  him  very  coldly.  I  won't  listen  to 
any  excuse  from  him." 

Miss  Spaulding:  "Oh  yes,  you  will, 
Ethel !  " 

Miss  Reed:  "No,  I  shall  not.  If  he 
wishes  me  to  listen  to  him  he  must  begin 
by  humbling  himself  in  the  dust  —  yes, 
the  dust,  Nettie  !  I  won't  take  anything 
short  of  it.  I  insist  that  he  shall  realize 
that  I  have  suffered." 

Miss  Spaulding :  c ;  Perhaps  he  has  suf 
fered  too !  " 


30  THE   REGISTER. 

Miss  Reed:  "  Oh,  he  suffered  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding:  u  You  know  that  he 
was  perfectly  devoted  to  you." 

Miss  Reed :  <•  6  He  never  said  so." 

Miss  Spaulding :  ' c  Perhaps  he  did  n't 
dare." 

Miss  Reed:  "He  dared  to  be  very 
insolent  to  me." 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  And  you  know  you 
liked  him  very  much." 

Miss  Reed:  "  I  won't  let  you  say  that, 
Nettie  Spaulding.  I  didrit  like  him.  I 
respected  and  admired  him  ;  but  I  did  n't 
like  him.  He  will  never  come  near  me  ; 
but  if  he  does  he  has  got  to  begin  by  — 
by  —  Let  me  see,  what  shall  I  make  him 
begin  by  doing  ?  "  She  casts  up  her  eyes 
for  inspiration  while  she  leans  forward 
over  the  register.  "Yes,  I  will!  He 
has  got  to  begin  by  taking  that  money  ! " 


THE   REGISTER.  31 

Miss  Spaulding :  "Ethel,  you  wouldn't 
put  that  affront  upon  a  sensitive  and  high- 
spirited  man ! " 

Miss  Reed :  "  Would  n't  I  ?  You  wait 
and  see,  Miss  Spaulding  !  He  shall  take 
the  money,  and  he  shall  sign  a  receipt 
for  it.  I  '11  draw  up  the  receipt  now,  so 
as  to  have  it  ready,  and  I  shall  ask  him 
to  sign  it  the  moment  he  enters  this  door 
—  the  very  instant !  "  She  takes  a  port 
folio  from  the  table  near  her,  without  ris 
ing,  and  writes  :  "  '  Received  from  Miss 
Ethel  Reed  one  hundred  and  twenty-five 
dollars,  in  full,  for  twenty-five  lessons  in 
oil-painting.'  There  —  when  Mr.  Oliver 
Ransom  has  signed  this  little  document 
he  may  begin  to  talk  ;  not  before  !  "  She 
leans  back  in  her  chair  with  an  air  of 
pitiless  determination. 


32  THE   REGISTER. 

Miss  Spaulding  :  "  But,  Ethel,  you 
don't  mean  to  make  him  take  money  for 
the  lessons  he  gave  you  after  he  told  }~ou 
you  could  n't  learn  anything?  " 

Miss  JReed,  after  a  moment's  pause : 
"Yes,  I  do.  This  is  to  punish  him.  l' 
don't  wish  for  justice  now ;  I  wish  for 
vengeance  !  At  first  I  would  have  com 
promised  on  the  six  lessons,  or  on  none 
at  all,  if  he  had  behaved  nicely  ;  but  after 
what 's  happened  I  shall  insist  upon  pay 
ing  him  for  every  lesson,  so  as  to  make 

him  feel  that  the  whole  thing,  from  first 

* 

to  last,  was  a  purely  business  transaction 
on  nry  part.    Yes,  a  purely  —  BUSINESS  — 

TRANSACTION  !  " 

Miss  Spanieling,  turning  to  her  music : 
4 '  Then  I  've  got  nothing  more  to  say  to 
you,  Ethel  Reed." 


THE    REGISTER.  33 

Miss  Reed :  "I  don't  sa}7  but  what, 
after  he  's  taken  the  mone3T  and  signed 
the  receipt,  I'll  listen  to  anything  else 
he 's  got  to  sa}',  very  willingly."  Miss 
Spaulding  makes  no  answer,  but  begins 
to  play  with  a  scientific  absorption,  feel 
ing  her  way  fitfully  through  the  new  piece, 
while  Miss  Reed,  seated  by  the  register, 
trifles  with  the  book  she  has  taken  from 
the  table. 


3 


II. 

MR.    GRINNIDGE     AND     MR.    RANSOM  ;    THEN 
MISS    SPAULDING    AND    MISS    REED. 

The  interior  of  the  room  of  Miss  Spaul- 
ding  and  Miss  Reed  remains  in  view, 
while  the  scene  discloses,  on  the  other 
side  of  the  partition  wall  in  the  same 
house,  the  bachelor  apartment  of  Mr. 
Samuel  Grinnidge.  Mr.  Grinnidge,  in 
his  dressing  gown  and  slippers,  with  his 
pipe  in  his  mouth,  has  the  effect  of  having 
just  come  in  ;  his  friend  Mr.  Oliver  Ran 
som  stands  at  the  window,  staring  out 
into  the  November  weather. 

Grinnidge  :  "  How  long  have  you- been 
waiting  here  ?  " 


THE   REGISTER.  35 

Ransom:  "  Ten  minutes — ten  years. 
How  should  I  know  ?  " 

Grinnidge :  "  Well,  I  don't  know  who 
else  should.  Get  back  to-day  ?  " 

Ransom:  "Last  night." 

Grinnidge :  "  Well,  take  off  your  coat, 
and  pull  up  to  the  register  and  warm 
your  poor  feet."  He  puts  his  hand  out 
over  the  register.  ' '  Confound  it !  some 
body  '«  got  the  register  open  in  the  next 
room  !  You  see,  one  pipe  comes  up  from 
the  furnace  and  branches  into  a  V  just 
under  the  floor,  and  professes  to  heat 
both  rooms.  But  it  don't.  There  was 
a  fellow  in  there  last  winter  who  used  to 
get  all  my  heat.  rtlsed  to  go  out  and 
leave  his  register  open,  and  I  'd  come  in 
here  just  before  dinner  and  find  this  place 
as  cold  as  a  barn.  We  had  a  running 

, . 


36  THE   REGISTER. 

'"    : 
fight  of  it  all  winter.     The  man  who  got 

his  register  open  first  in  the  morning  got 
all  the  heat  for  the  day,  for  it  never 

turned  the  other  way  when  it  started  in 

* 

one  direction.  Used  to  almost  suffocate 
—  warm,  muggy  days  —  maintaining  my 
rights.  Some  piano-pounder  in  there  this 
winter,  it  seems.  Hear?  And  she  has  n't 
lost  any  time  in  learning  the  trick  of  the 
register.  What  kept  }TOU  so  late  in  the 
country  ?  " 

Ransom,  after  an  absent-minded  pause  : 
"Grinnidge,  I  wish  you  would  give  me 
some  advice." 

Grinnidge:  "You  can  have  all  you 
want  of  it  at  the  market  price." 

Ransom :  "I  don't  mean  your  legal 
advice." 

Grinnidge:  "I'm  sorry.  What  have 
you  been  doing  ?  " 


THE    KEGISTEK.  37 

Ransom:  "I've  been  making  an  ass 
of  myself." 

Grinnidge  :   "Wasn't  that  rather  su 
perfluous  ?  " 

Ransom:  "If  you  please,  yes.  But 
now,  if  you're  capable  of  listening  to 
me  without  any  further  display  of  }^our 
cross-examination  wit,  I  should  like  to 
tell  you  how  it  happened." 
//  Grinnidge :  "I  will  do  my  best  to 
veil  my  brilliancy.  Go  on." 

Ransom :  "  I  went  up  to  Ponkwasset 
earl}'  in  September  for  the  foliage." 

Grinnidge :  "  And  staid  till  late  in  Oc- 
•  tober.    There  must  have  been  a  reason 
for  that.     What   was   her  name  ?     Foli 
age  ?» 

Ransom,  coming  up  the  corner  of  the 
chimney-piece,  near  which  his  friend  sits, 


38  THE   REGISTER. 

and  talking  to  him  directly  over  the  re 
gister  :  "  I  think  you  '11  have  to  get  along 
without  the  name  for  the  present.  I  '11 
tell  you  by-and-by."  As  Mr.  Ransom 
pronounces  these  words,  Miss  Reed,  on 
her  side  of  the  partition,  lifts  her  head 
with  a  startled  air,  and,  after  a  moment 
of  vague  circumspection,  listens  keenly. 
u  But  she  was  beautiful.  She  was  a  blonde, 
and  she  had  the  loveliest  eyes  —  eyes, 
you  know,  that  could  be  funny  or  tender, 
just  as  she  chose  —  the  kind  of  eyes  I 
always  liked."  'Miss  Reed  leans  forward 
over  the  register.  c '  She  had  one  of  those 
faces  that  always  leave  you.  in  doubt 
whether  the}'  're  laughing  at  you,  and  so 
keep  you  in  wholesome  subjection ;  but 
you  feel  certain  that  they're  good,  and 

^VVt~^ '*£-  ^*-<>/'*'r*'1--7-i      ^/^-/t/T    «dfe£^,;  -  **.  fe^i      *' 

that  if  they  did  hurt  you  by  laughing'  at 


THE   REGISTER.  39 

/ 

.  h 

3'ou,  they  'd  look  sorry  for  you  afterward. 
When  she  .walked  you  saw  what  an  ex 
quisite  creature  she' was.  It  alwa}Ts  made 
me  mad  to  think- 1  couldn't  paint  her 
walk." 

Grinnidge :  u  I  suppose  you  saw  a  good 
deal  of  her  walk." 

Ransom  :  i  l  Yes  ;  we  were  off  in  the 
woocTs  and  fields  half  the  time  together." 
He  takes  a  turn  toward  the  window. 

Miss  Reed,  suddenly  shutting  the  regis 
ter  on  her  side:  "Oh!" 

Miss  Spaulding,  looking  up  from  her 
music  :  "  What  is  it,  Ethel?  " 

Miss  Reed :  "Nothing,  nothing;  I  — 
I  —  thought  it  \was  getting /too  warm. 
Go  on,  dear  ;  don't  let  me  interrupt  you." 
After  a  moment  of  heroic  self-denial  she 
softly  presses  the  register  open  with  her 
foot. 


40  THE   REGISTER. 

Ransom,  coming  back  to  the  register : 
"It  all  began  in  that  way.  I  had  the 
good  fortune  one  day  to  rescue  her  from 
a  —  cow." 

Miss  Reed:  "Oh,  for  shame  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding,  desisting  from  her 
piano:  "What  is  the  matter?" 

Miss  Reed,  clapping  the  register  to : 
"This  ridiculous  book!  But  don't  — 
don't  mind  me,  Nettie."  Breathlessly : 
4 '  Go  —  go  —  on  !  "  Miss  Spaulding  re 
sumes,  and  again  Miss  Reed  softly 
presses  the  register  open. 

Ransom,  after  a  pause  :  ' '  The  cow  was 
grazing,  and  had  no  more  thought  of 
hooking  Miss  —  " 

Miss  Reed:  "  Oh,  I  didn't  suppose  he 
would!  —  Go  on,  Nettie,  go  on!  The 
hero  —  such  a  goose  !  " 


THE   REGISTER.  41 

Ransom :  "  I  drove  her  away  with  my 
camp-stool,  and  Miss —  the  young  lady 
—  was  as  grateful  as  if  I  had  rescued 
her  from  a  menagerie  of  wild  animals. 
I  walked  home  with  her  to  the  farm 
house,  and  the  trouble  be^arv  at  once./*'? 

•  ;?Vt*^£*V*C-  W^WN&-*«/^r     i 

Pantomime  of  indignant  protest  and  bur- 

C  ^Mf^'T^tAr      4(L<i*Ksts**     W^ *.  $^~ 

lesque  menace  on  the  part  of  Miss  Eeed. 
"There  wasn't  another  well  woman  in 
the  house,  Except  her  friend  Miss  Spaul- 
ding,  who  was  rather  old  and  rather 
plain."  He  takes  another  turn  to  the 
window. 

Miss  Reed:  "  Oh ! "  She  shuts  the 
register,  but  instantly  opens  it  again. 
u  Louder,  Nettie." 

Miss  Spaulding,  in  astonishment : 
"  What?" 

Miss  Reed:  "Did  I  speak?  I  did  n't 
know  it.  I  —  " 


42  THE   REGISTER. 

Miss  Spaulding,  desisting   from  prac 

tice  :     "What    is  •  that    strange,    hollow, 
.,.-;    /  -    y  v  -~ 


rumbling,  mumbling  kind  j£  noise  ? 

'  tx. 

Miss  Reed,  softly  closing  the  register 
with  her  foot  :  i%  I  don't  hear  an}'  strange, 
hollow,  rumbling,  mumbling  kind  of  noise. 
Do  you  hear  it  now  ?  " 

Miss  Spaulding:  "No.  It  was  the 
Brighton  whistle,  probably." 

Miss  Reed:  "  Oh,  very  likely."  As 
Miss  Spaulding  turns  again  to  her  prac 
tice  Miss  Reed  re-opens  the  register  and 
listens  again.  A  little  interval  of  silence 

ff^/*jr,AM/^VV»r~~ 

ensues,  while  Ransom  lights  a  cigarette. 

Grinnidge  :  "  So  you  sought  opportu 
nities  of  rescuing  her  from  other  cows  ?  " 

Ransom,  returning:  "That  wasn't 
necessary.  The  young  lady  was  so  im 
pressed  by  my  behavior  that  she  asked 


THE    REGISTER.  43 

if  I  would  give  her  some  lessons  in  the 
use  of  oil." 

Grinnidge :  ' '  She  thought  if  she  knew 
how  to  paint  pictures  like  yours  she 
would  n't  need  any  one  to  drive  the  Cows 
away." 

Ransom:  "  Don't  be  farcical,  Grin- 
nidge.  That  sort  of  thing  will  do  with 
some  victim  on  the  witness  stand  who 
can't  help  himself.  Of  course  I  said  I 
would,  and  we  were  off  half  the  time 
together,  painting  the  loveliest  and  lone 
liest  bits  around  Ponkwasset.  It  all 
went  on  very  well,  till  one  day  I  felt 
bound  in  conscience  to  tell  her  that  I 
did  n't  think  she  would  ever  learn  to 
paint,  and  that  if  she  was  serious  about 
it  she  'd  better  drop  it  at  once,  for  she 
was  wasting  her  time." 


44  THE   REGISTER. 

Grinnidge,  getting  up  to  fill  his  pipe  : 
"  That  was  a  pleasant  thing  to  do." 

Ransom :  "  I  told  her  that  if  it  amused 
her,  to  keep  on  ;  I  would  be  only  too  glad 
to  give  her  all  the  hints  I  could,  but  that 
I  ought  n't  to  encourage  her.  She  seemed 
a  good  deal  hurt.  I  fancied  at  the  time 
that  she  thought  I  was  tired  of  having  her 
with  me  so  much." 

Miss  Reed:  "Oh,  did  you,  indeed!" 
To  Miss  Spaulding,  who  bends  an  aston 
ished  glance  upon  her  from  the  piano : 
"  The  man  in  this  book  is  the  most  con 
ceited  creature,  Nettie.  Play  chords  — 
something  very  subdued  —  ah  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  4  c  What  are  you  talk 
ing  about,  Ethel  ?  " 

Ransom :  u  That  was  at  night ;  but  the 
next  day  she  came  up  smiling,  and  said 


THE    REGISTER.  45 

that  if  I  did  n't  mind  she  would  keep  on 
• —  for  amusement ;  she  was  n't  a  bit  dis 
couraged."  . 

Miss  Reed:  "Oh!  —  Go  on,  Nettie; 
don't  let  my  outbursts  interrupt  you." 

Ransom. :  "  I  used  to  fancy  sometimes 
that  she  was  a  little  sweet  on  me." 

Miss  Reed:  "You  wretch! — Oh, 
scales,  Nettie  !  Play  scales  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding:  "  Ethel  Reed,  are 
}'ou  crazy  ?  " 

Ransom,  after  a  thoughtful  moment : 
"  Well,  so  it  went  on  for  the  next  seven 
or  eight  weeks.  When  we  were  n't  sketch 
ing  in  the  meadows,  or  on  the  mountain 
side,  or  in  the  old  punt  on  the  pond,  we 
were  walking  up  and  down  the  farm 
house  piazza  together.  She  used  to  read 
to  me  when  I  was  at  work.  She  had  a 
heavenly  voice,  Grinnidge." 


46  THE   REGISTER. 

Miss  Reed:  "Oh,  you  silly,  silly 
thing  !  —  Really  this  book  makes  me  sick, 
Nettie." 

Ransom  :  "  Well,  the  long  and  the 
short  of  it  was,  I  was  hit  —  hard,  and  I 
lost  all  courage.  You  know  how  I  am, 
Grinnidge." 

Miss  Reed,  softly  :  "  Oh,  poor  fellow  !  " 

Ransom:  u  So  I  let  the  time  go  by, 
and  at  the  end  I  had  n't  said  anything." 

Miss  Reed:  "  No,  sir  !  You  hadn't!  " 
Miss  Spaulding  gradual!}'  ceases  to  play, 
and  fixes  her  attention  wholly  upon  Miss 
Reed,  who  bends  forward  over  the  regis 
ter  with  an  intensely  excited  face. 

Ransom  :  u  Then  something  happened 
that  made  me  glad,  for  twenty-four  hours 
at  least,  that  I  had  n't  spoken.  She  sent 
me  the  money  for  twenty-five  lessons. 


THE   REGISTER.  47 

Imagine  bow  I  felt,  Grinnidge  !  What 
could  I  suppose  but  that  she  had  been 
quietly  biding  her  time,  and  storing  up 
her  resentment  for  my  having  told  her 
she  could  n't  learn  to  paint,  till  she  could 
pay  me  back  with  interest  in  one  supreme 
insult?"/ 

Miss  Reed,  in  a  low  voice :  "  Oh,  how 
could  you  think  such  a  cruel,  vulgar 
thing?"  Miss  Spaulding  leaves  the  piano, 
and  softly  approaches  her,  where  she  has 
sunk  on  her  knees  beside  the  register. 

Ransom  :  u  It  was  tantamount  to  tell- 
ing  me  that  she  had  been  amusing  herself 
with  me  instead  of  nyy  lessons.  It  re 
manded  our  whole  association,  which  I 
had  got  to  thinking  so  romantic,  to  the 
relation  of  teacher  and  pupil.  It  was  a 
snub  —  a  heartless,  killing  snub ;  and  I 


48  f   THE    REGISTER. 

could  n't  see  it  in  any  other  light."  Ran 
som  walks  away  to  the  window,  and  looks 
out. 

Miss  Reed,  flinging  herself  backward 
from  the  register,  and  hiding  her  face  in 
her  hands  :  "  Oh,  it  was  n't !  it  was  n't ! 
it  was  n't !  How  could  3^011  think  so  ?  " 

Miss  Spaulding,  rushing  forward,  and 
catching  her  friend  in  her  arms  :  ' '  What 
is  the  matter  with  you,  Ethel  Reed? 
What  are  you  doing  here,  over  the  regis 
ter?  Are  you  tiying  to  suffocate  your 
self  ?  Have  you  taken  leave  of  your 
senses  ?  " 

Grinnidge  :  "Our  fair  friend  on  the 
other  side  of  the  wall  seems  to  be  on  the 
rampage." 

Miss  Spaulding,  shutting  the  register 
with  a  violent  clash  :  "  Ugh  !  how  hot  it 
is  here !  " 


THE   REGISTER.  49 

Grinnidge :  "Doesn't  like  your  con 
versation,  apparently." 

'  *%    .  \        .-  .       tztt 

Miss  Reed,  frantically  pressing  forward 

- ^'(^-c^  vCt  *i« 

to  opeH  the  register :  ""  Oh,  don't  shut 
it,  Nettie  dear !  If  you  do  I  shall  die  ! 
Do-o-n't  shut  the  register  ! " 

Miss  Spaulding  :  u  Don't  shut  it  ? 
Why,  we  've  got  all  the  heat  of  the  fur 
nace  in  the  room  now.  Surety  }~ou  don't 
want  any  more  ?  " 

Miss  Reed:  "  No,  no;  not  any  more. 
But  —  but  —  Oh  dear  !  what  shall  I  do  ?  " 
She  still  struggles  in  the  embrace  of  her 
friend. 

Grinnidge,  remaining  quietly  at  the 
register,  while  Ransom  walks  away  to  the 
window  :  "  Well,  what  did  }^ou  do?  " 

Miss  Reed:  "  There,  there!  They're 
commencing  again  ?  Do  open  it,  Nettie. 


50  THE    REGISTER. 

I  will  have  it  open  !  "     She  wrenches  her 
self  free,  and  clashes  the  register  open. 

Grinnidge  :  "  Ah,  she's  opened  it 
again."  A  „  $£U^ 

"•jmAjFtftQA^"^     ' 

Miss  Reed,  in  a  stage-whisper :  ' '  That 's 
the  other  one  !  " 

Ransom,  from  the  window:  "  Do?  I'll 
tell  you  what  I  did." 

Miss  Reed:  "That 's  01— Mr.  Ransom. 
And,  oh,  I  can 't  make  out  what  he 's 
saying !  He  must  have  gone  away  to 
the  other  side  of  the  room  —  and  it 's  at 
the  most  important  point !  " 

Miss  Spaulding,  in  an  awful  undertone  : 
"  Was  that  the  hollow  rumbling  I  heard? 
And  have  you  been  listening  at  the  reg 
ister  to  what  they  've  been  saying?  Oh, 
Ethel!" 

Miss  Reed:  "  I  haven't  been  listening, 
exactly." 


THE    REGISTER.  51 

Miss  Spaulding :  ;  c  You  have  !  You 
have  been  eavesdropping  !  " 

Miss  Reed :  u  Eavesdropping  is  listen 
ing  through  a  key-hole,  or  around  a  cor 
ner.  This  is  very  different.  Besides, 
it 's  Oliver,  and  he  ?s  been  talking  about 
me.  Hark  !  "  She  clutches  her  friend's 
hand,  and  where  they  have  crouched 
upon  the  floor  together,  pulls  her  forward 
to  the  register.  "  Oh  dear,  how  hot  it 
is !  I  wish  they  would  cut  off  the  heat 
down  below." 

Grinnidge,  smoking  peacefully  through 
the  silence  which  his  friend  has  absent- 
mindedly  let  follow  upon  his  last  words  : 
4 'Well,  }TOU  seem  disposed  to  take  }Tour 
time  about  it." 

Ransom:    "  About   what?     Oh,    yes! 


52  THE    REGISTER. 

Miss  Reed:  " 'Sh  !  Listen."  • 
Miss  Spcudding :  "  I  won't  listen.  It 's 
shameful ;  it 's  wicked !  I  don't  see 
how  you  can  do  it,  Ethel !  "  She  re 
mains,  however,  kneeling  near  the  regis 
ter,  and  she  involuntarily  inclines  a  little 
more  toward  it. 

Ransom:  " — it  isn't  a  thing  that  I 
care  to  shout  from  the  house-tops."  He 
returns  from  the  window  to  the  chimney- 
piece.  "  I  wrote  the  rudest  kind  of  note, 
and  sent  back  her  letter  and  her  money 
in  it.  She  had  said  that  she  hoped  our 
acquaintance  was  not  to  end  with  the 
summer,  but  that  we  might  sometimes 
meet  in  Boston ;  and  I  answered  that 
our  acquaintance  had  ended  already,  and 
that  I  should  be  sorry  to  meet  her  any 
where  again." 


THE    REGISTER.  53 

Grinnidge :  u  Well,  if  you  wanted  to 
make  an  ass  of  yourself,  you  did  it  pretty 
completely." 

^  Miss  Reed,  whispering  :  ' '  How  witty 
he  is  !  Those  men  are  always  so  humor 
ous  with  each  other." 

Ransom:  u  Yes ;  I  didn't  do  it  by 
halves." 

Miss  Reed,  whispering:  "  Oh,  that's 
funny,  too !  " 

Grinnidge:  "It  didn't  occur  to  you 
that  she  might  feel  bound  to  pay  you  for 
the  first  half-dozen,  and  was  embarrassed 
how  to  offer  to  pa}'  for  them  alone  ?  " 

Miss  Reed :  4 '  How  he  does  go  to  the 
heart  of  the  matter  !  "  She  presses  Miss 
Spaulding's  hand  in  an  ecstasy  of  ap 
proval. 

Ransom :  "  Yes,  it  did  —  afterward." 


54  THE   REGISTER. 

Miss  Reed,  in  a  tender  murmur  :  "  Oh, 
poor  Oliver !  " 

Ransom:  i;  And  it  occurred  to  me  that 
she  was  perfectly  right  in  the  whole 
affair." 

Miss  Reed :  u  Oh,  how  generous  !  how 
noble!" 

Ransom:  "I  had  had  a  thousand 
opportunities,  and  I  had  n't  been  man 
enough  to  tell  her  that  I  was  in  love  with 
her." 

Miss  Reed :  "  How  can  he  sa}T  it  right 
out  so  bluntly  ?  But  if  it 's  true  —  " 

Ransom:  "I  couldn't  speak.  I  was 
afraid  of  putting  an  end  to  the  affair  — 
of  frightening  her  —  disgusting  her." 

Miss  Reed :  "  Oh,  how  little  they  know 
us,  Nettie  ! " 

Ransom  :  "  She  seemed  so  much  above 


THE    REGISTER.  55 

me  in  everyway  —  so  sensitive,  so  re 
fined,  so  gentle,  so  good,  so  angelic  !  " 

Miss  Reed :  ' ;  There  !  Now  do  you 
call  it  eavesdropping  ?  If  listeners  never 
hear  airy  good  of  themselves,  what  do 
you  say  to  that  ?  It  proves  that  I  have  n't 
been  listening." 

Miss  Spaulding:  "  'Sh  !  They  're  say 
ing  something  else." 

Ransom  :  "  But  all  that 's  neither  here 
nor  there.  I  can  see  now  that  under  the 
circumstances  she  could  n't  as  "&  lady 
have  acted  otherwise  than  she  did.  She 
was  forced  to  treat  our  whole  acquaint 
ance  as  a  business  matter,  and  I  had 
forced  her  to  do  it." 

Miss  Reed:  ;i  You  had,  you  poor 
thing !  " 

Grinnidge:  "Well,  what  do  you  in 
tend  to  do  about  it?  " 


56  THE   REGISTER. 

Ransom:  "Well  —  " 

Miss  Reed:  " 'Sh  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding:  "  'Sh  !  " 

Ransom:  " — that's  what  I  want  to 
submit  to  you,  Grinnidge.  I  must  see 
her." 

Grinnidge:  "Yes.  I'm  glad /must  n't." 

Miss  Reed,  stifling  a  laugh  on  Miss 
£paulding's  shoulder  :  u  They  're  actually 
afraid  of  us,  Nettie  !  "  ' 

Ransom:  u  See  her,  and  go  down  in 
the  dust." 

Miss  Reed:  u  My  very  words  !  " 

Ransom :  "  I  have  been  trying  to  think 
what  was  the  veiy  humblest  pie  I  could 
eat,  by  way  of  penance  ;  and  it  appears 
to  me  that  I  had  better  begin  by  saying 
that  T  have  come  to  ask  her  for  the 
money  I  refused." 


THE   REGISTER.  57 

Miss  Reed,  enraptured  :  "  Oh  !  does  n't 
it  seem  just  like  —  like  —  inspiration, 
Nettie  ?  " 

Miss  Spaulding  :  "  'Sh  !  Be  quiet,  do  ! 
You  '11  frighten  them  away  !  " 

Grinnidge  :  ' '  And  then  what  ?  " 

Ransom  :  "  What  then?  I  do  n't  know 
what  then.  But  it  appears  to  me  that, 
as  a  gentleman,  I  've  got  nothing  to  do 
with  the  result.  All  that  I've  got  to 
do  is  to  submit  to  my  fate,  whatever 
it  is." 

Miss  Reed,  breathlessly  :  c '  What  .prince 
ly  courage !  What  delicate  magnanim 
ity  !  Oh,  he  needn't  have  the  least  fear  ! 
If  I  could  only  tell  him  that !  " 

Grinnidge,  after  an  interval  of  medita 
tive  smoking:  "  Yes,  I  guess  that's  the 
best  thing  you  can  do.  It  will  strike  her 


58  THE   REGISTER. 

fane}*,  if  she  's  an  imaginative  girl,  and 

she  '11  think  you  a  fine  fellow." 

Miss  Reed:  "  Oh,  the  horrid  thing  !  " 
Grinnidge:  u  If  you  humble   3*otirself 

to  a  woman  at  all,  do  it  thoroughly.     If 

you  go  half-way  down  she  '11  be  tempted 

to  push  you  the  rest  of  the  way.     If  you. 

flatten  out  at  her  feet  to  begin  with,  ten 

to  one  but  she  will  pick  3-011  up." 
Ransom:  "  Yes,  that  was  my  idea." 
Miss    Reed:    "  Oh,    was    it,    indeed! 

Well !  " 

Ransom:    "  But   I've  nothing   to   do 

with  her  picking  me  up  or  pushing  me 

down.     All  that  I  've  got  to  do  is  to  go 

and  surrender  myself." 

Grinnidge:  u  Yes.   Well ;  I  guess  you 

can't  go  too  soon.    I  like  your  company  ; 

but  I  advise  you  as  a  friend  not  to  lose 

time.     Where  does  she  live  ?  '* 


THE   REGISTER,  59 

Ransom :  "  That 's  the  remarkable  part 
of  it :  she  lives  in  this  house." 

Miss  Reed  and  Miss  Spaulding,  in  sub 
dued  chorus:  "Oh!" 

Grinnidge^  taking  his  pipe  out  of  his 
mouth  in  astonishment :  "  No  !  " 

Ransom  :  "  I  just  came  in  here  to  give 
my  good  resolutions  a  rest  while  I  was 
screwing  my  courage  up  to  ask  for  her." 

Miss  Reed:  "Don't  you.  think  he's 
very  humorous?  Give  his  good  resolu 
tions  a  rest !  That 's  the  way  he  always 
talks." 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  '8h  !  " 

Grinnidge :  ' '  You  said  you  came  for 
my  advice." 

Ransom:  "So  I  did.  But  I  didn't 
promise  to  act  upon  it.  Well ! "  He 
goes  toward  the  door. 


60  THE   REGISTER. 

Grinnidge,  without  troubling  himself  to 
rise  :  "  Well,  good  luck  to  you  !  " 

Miss  Reed :  ' '  How  droll  they  are  with 
each  other !  Don't  you  like  to  hear  them 
talk?  Oh,  I  could  listen  all  day." 

Grinnidge,  calling  after  Ransom  :  "  You 
haven't  told  me  your  duck's  name." 

Miss  Reed :  u  Is  that  what  they  call  us  ? 
Duck  !  Do  }'ou  think  it 's  very  respect 
ful,  Nettie?  I  don't  believe  I  like  it, 
Or,  yes,  why  not  ?  It's  no  harm —  if  I 
am  his  duck  !  " 

Ransom,  coming  back  :  u  Well,  I  don't 
propose  to  go  shouting  it  round.  Her 
name  is  Miss  Reed  —  Ethel  Reed." 

Miss  Reed:  "  How  can  he?" 

Grinnidge :  "Slender,  willowy  part}7, 
with  a  lot  of  blonde  hair  that  looks  as  if 
it  might  be  indigenous  ?  Rather  pensive- 
looking?" 


THE   REGISTER.  61 

Miss  Reed:  "Indigenous!  I  should 
hope  so ! " 

Ransom :  ' '  Yes.  But  she  is  n't  pensive. 
She 's  awfully  deep.  It  makes  me  shud 
der  to  think  how  deep  that  girl  is.  And 
when  I  think  of  my  courage  in  daring  to 
be  in  love  with  her  —  a  stupid,  straight 
forward  idiot  like  me  —  I  begin  to  respect 
myself  in  spite  of  being  such  an  ass. 
Well,  I  'm  off.  If  I  stay  any  longer  I 
shall  never  go."  He  closes  the  door  after 
him,  and  Miss  Reed  instantly  springs  to 
her  feet. 

Miss  Reed :  ' '  Now  he  '11  have  to  go 
down  to  the  parlor  and  send  up  his  name, 
and  that  just  gives  me  time  to  do  the 
necessary  prinking.  You  sta}T  here  and 
receive  him,  Nettie." 

Miss     Spaulding  :      "  Never !       After 


62  THE    REGISTER. 

what's  happened  I  can  never  look  him 
in  the  face  again.  Oh,  how  low,  and 
mean,  and  guilty  I  feel !  " 

Miss  Reed,  with  surprise  :  "  "Wiry*,  how 
droll !  Now  /don't  feel  the  least  so." 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  Oh,  it 's  very  differ 
ent  with  you.  You're  in  love  with  him." 

Miss  Reed:  u  For  shame,  Nettie  !  I  'in 
not  in  love  with  him." 

Miss  Spaulding:  "And  you  can  ex 
plain  and  justify  it.  But  I  never  can 
justify  it  to  myself,  much  less  to  him. 
Let  me  go,  Ethel !  I  shall  tell  Mrs. 
McKnight  that  we  must  change  this  room 
instantly.  And  just  after  I  'd  got  it  so 
near!}7  in  order !  Go  down  and  receive 
him  in  the  parlor,  Ethel.  I  can't  see 
him." 

Miss  Reed:  "Receive  him  in  the  par- 


THE   REGISTER.  63 

lor!  Why,  Nettie  dear,  you  're  crazy! 
I  'm  going  to  accept  him }  and  how  can  I 
accept  him  —  with  all  the  consequences  — 
in  a  public  parlor?  No,  indeed!  If  you 
won't  meet  him.  here  for  a  moment,  just 
to  oblige  me,  you  can  go  into  the  other 
room.  Or,  no  —  3*011 'd  be  listening  to 
every  word  through  the  key-hole,  you  're 
so  demoralized ! " 

Miss  Spaulding :  "  Yes,  yes,  I  deserve 
3~our  contempt,  Ethel." 

Miss  Reed,  laughing  :  ' 4  You  will  have 
to  go  out  for  a  walk,  }rou  poor  thing ; 
and  I  'm  not  going  to  have  you  coming 
back  in  five  or  ten  minutes.  You  have 
got  to  stay  out  a  good  hour." 

Miss  Spaulding,  running  to  get  her 
things  from  the  next  room:'  "  Oh,  I'll 
stay  out  till  midnight !  " 


64  THE    REGISTER. 

Miss  JReed,  responding  to  a  tap  at  the 
door :  "  Ye-e-s  !  Come  in  !  —  You  're 
caught,  Kettle." 

A  maid-servant,  appearing  with  a  card  : 
"  This  gentleman  is  asking  for  you  in  the 
parlor,  Miss  Reed." 

Miss  Reed:  "Oh!  Ask  him  to  come 
up  here,  please.  —  Nettie  !  Nettie  !  "  She 
calls  to  her  friend  in  the  next  room. 
"  He's  coming  right  up,  and  if  you  don't 
rim  you  're  trapped." 

Miss  Spaulding,  re-appearing,  cloaked 
and  bonneted:  "I  don't  blame  you, 
Ethel,  comparatively  speaking.  You  can 

say  that  everything  is  fair  in  love.     He 

• 

will  like  it.  and  laugh  at  it  in  you,  be 
cause  he  '11  like  everything  3*011  've  done. 
Besides,  you've  no  principles,  and  I 
have." 


THE   REGISTER.  65 

Miss  Reed:  c '  Oh,  I  've  lots  of  principles, 
Nettie,  but  I  've  no  practice  !  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  4 '  No  matter.  There's 
no  excuse  for  me.  I  listened  simply  be 
cause  I  was  a  woman,  and  couldn't  help 
it;  and,  oh,  what  will  he  think  of  me?" 

Miss  Reed:  "  I  won't  give  you  away  ; 
if  you  really  feel  so  badly  —  " 

Miss  Spaulding :  "Oh,  do  you  think 
you  can  keep  from  telling  him,  Ethel 
dear?  Try!  And  I  will  be  your  slave 
forever  !  "  Steps  are  heard  on  the  stairs 
outside.  "  Oh,  there  he  comes!"  She 
dashes  out  of  the  door  and  closes  it  after 
her,  a  moment  before  the  maid-servant, 
followed  by  Mr.  Ransom,  taps  at  it. 


III. 

MISS    REED    AND    MR.    RANSOM  ;     THEN    MR. 
GRINNIDGE. 

Miss  Reed  opens  the  door  and  receives 
Mr.  Ransom  with  well-affected  surprise 
and  state,  suffering  him  to  stand  awk 
wardly  on  the  threshold  for  a  moment. 

She,  coldly  :  "  Oh  !  Mr.  Ransom !  " 

He,  abruptly  :  "  I  Ve  come  —  " 

She :  "  Won't  you  come  in  ?  " 

He,  advancing   a  few  paces   into  the 

room  :  "I Ve  come  —  " 

She,  indicating  a  chair :  u  Will  you  sit 

down?" 

He:    "I  must  stand  for  the  present. 


THE    REGISTER.  67 

I've  come  to  ask  you  for  that  money, 
Miss  Reed,  which  I  refused  yesterda}',  in 
terms  that  I  blush  to  think  of.  I  was 
altogether  and  wholly  in  the  wrong,  and 
I  'm  ready  to  offer  any  imaginable  apology 
or  reparation.  I 'in  ready  to  take  the 
money  and  to  sign  a  receipt,  and  then  to 
be  dismissed  with  whatever  ignominy 
you  please.  I  deserve  anything  —  every 
thing!" 

She :  ' '  The  money  ?  Excuse  me  ;  I 
don 't  know  —  I  'm  afraid  that  I  'm  not 
prepared  to  pay  you  the  whole  sum  to 
day." 

He,  hastily  :  "  Oh,  no  matter !  no  mat 
ter  !  I  don't  care  for  the  money  now. 
I  merely  wished  to  —  to  assure  you  that  I 
thought  you  were  perfectly  right  in  offer 
ing  it,  and  to  —  to  —  " 

She:  "What?" 


68  THE   REGISTER. 

He:"  Nothing.    That  is  —  ah  —  ah  — " 

She :  "It 's  extremely  embarrassing  to 
have  people  refuse  their  money  when  it 's 
offered  them,  and  then  come  the  next  day 
for  it,  when  perhaps  it  is  n't  so  convenient 
toj)ay  it  —  very  embarrassing." 

He,  hotly:  "  Bat  I  tell  you  I  don't 
want  the  money!  I  never  wanted  it, 
and  would  n't  take  it  on  any  account." 

She:  "Oh!  I  thought  you  said  you 
came  to  get  it  ?  " 

He:  "I  said  —  I  did  n't  say  —  I  meant 
—  that  is  —  ah  —  I  —  "  He  stops,  open- 
mouthed. 

She,  quietly:  "  I  could  give  you  part 
of  the  money  now." 

He:  "  Oh,  whatever  you  like  ;  it 's  in- 
'  different  —  " 

She  :  4 '  Please  sit  down  while  I  write  a 


THE   REGISTER.  69 

receipt."  She  places  herself  deliberately 
at  the  table,  and  opens  her  portfolio.  u  I 
will  pay  you  now,  Mr.  Ransom,  for  the 
first  six  lessons  you  gave  me  —  the  ones 
before  you  told  me  that  I  could  never 
learn  to  do  anything." 

He,  sinking  mechanically  into  the  chair 
she  indicates  :  u  Oh,  just  as  you  like!" 
He  looks  up  at  the  ceiling  in  hopeless 
bewilderment,  while  she  writes. 

She,  blotting  the  paper :  ' '  There ! 
And  now  let  me  offer  you  a  little  piece 
of  advice,  Mr.  Ransom,  which  may  be 
useful  to  you  in  taking  pupils  hereafter." 

He,  bursting  out:  "  I  never  take 
pupils ! " 

She:  "Never  take  pupils!  I  don't 
understand.  You  took  me" 

He,  confusedly:  "I  took  you  — yes. 


70  .        THE   REGISTER. 

You  seemed  to  wish  —  you  seemed  —  the 
case  was  peculiar  —  peculiar  circum 
stances." 

She,  with  severity:  '-  May  I  ask  why 
the  circumstances  were  peculiar?  I  saw 
nothing  peculiar  about  the  circumstances. 
It  seemed  to  me  it  was  a  very  simple 
matter.  I  told  you  that  I  had  always  • 
had  a  great  curiosity  to  see  whether  I 
could  use  oil  paints,  and  I  asked  }*ou  a 
very  plain  question,  whether  3*011  would 
let  me  stud}*  with  you.  Did  n't  I?  " 

He:    "Yes." 

She :  ' '  Was  there  an}*thing  wrong  — 
anything  queer  about  my  asking  3*ou  ?  " 

He:  "No,  no!  Not  at  all  —  not  in 
the  least." 

She :  ' '  Did  n't  you  wish  me  to  take  the 
lessons  of  3*ou  ?  If  }*ou  did  n't,  it  was  n't 
kind  of  3'ou  to  let  me." 


THE    REGISTER.  71 

He:  "  Oh,  I  was  perfectly  willing  — 
very  glad  indeed,  very  much  so  —  cer 
tainly  ! " 

She :  "If  it  was  n't  your  custom  to  take 
pupils,  you  ought  to  have  told  me,  and  I 
would  n't  have  forced  myself  upon  3^011." 

He,  desperately :  "It  wasn't  forcing 
yourself  upon  me.  The  Lord  knows  how 
humbly  grateful  I  was.  It  was  like  a 
hope  of  heaven  !  " 

She:  "Really,  Mr.  Ransom,  this  is 
very  strange  talk.  What  am  I  to  under 
stand  by  it  ?  Why  should  you  be  grateful 
to  teach  me !  Why  should  giving  me 
lessons  be  like  a  hope  of  heaven  ?  " 

He:  "Oh,  I  will  tell  you  !" 

She:  "Well?" 

He,  after  a  moment  of  agony:  "Be 
cause  to  be  with  you  —  " 


72  THE   REGISTER. 

She:  "Yes?" 

He:  "Because  I  wished  to  be  with 
you.  Because  —  those  da\'s  in  the  woods, 
when  }'ou  read,  and  I  —  " 

She:  "  Painted  on  1113-  pictures  —  " 

He:  "  Were  the  happiest  of  my  life. 
Because  —  I  loved  you  !  " 

She:  "Mr.  Ransom!" 

He:  "  Yes,  I  must  tell  you  so.  I  loved 
you  ;  I  love  you  still.  I  shall  always  love 
you,  no  matter  what  — " 

She :  ' fc  You  forget  yourself ,  Mr.  Ran 
som.  Has  there  been  anything  in  my 
manner  —  conduct  —  to  justify  you  in 
using  such  language  to  me  ?  " 

He:  "No-no  —  " 

She:  "Did  you  suppose  that  because 
I  first  took  lessons  of  you  from  —  from 
—  an  enthusiasm  for  art,  and  then  con- 


THE    REGISTER.  73 

tinned  them  for  —  for  —  amusement,  that 
I  wished  you  to  make  love  to  me  ?  " 

He:  u  Xo,  I  never  supposed  such  a 
thing.  I  'm  incapable  of  it.  I  beseech 
you  to  believe  that  no  one  could  have 
more  respect  —  reverence  —  "  He  twirls 
his  hat  between  his  hands,  and  casts  an 
imploring  glance  at  her. 

She:  "  Oh,  respect  —  reverence!  I 
know  what  they  mean  in  the  mouths  of 
men.  If  3^011  respected,  if  you  reverenced 
me,  could  you  dare  to  tell  me,  after  my 
unguarded  trust  of  you  during  the  past 
months,  that  you  had  been  all  the  time 
secretly  in  love  with  me  ?  " 

He,  plucking  up  a  little  courage:  "I 
don't  see  that  the  three  things  are  incom 
patible." 

She  :  "  Oh,  then  you  acknowledge  that 


74  THE    REGISTER. 

you  did  presume  upon  something  you 
thought  }^ou  saw  in  me  to  tell  me  that 
you  loved  me,  and  that  }*ou  were  in  love 
with  me  all  the  time  ? " 

ffe,  contritely:  "I  have  no  right  to 
suppose  that  you  encouraged  me ;  and 
yet  —  I  can't  deny  it  now  —  I  was  in  love 
with  you  all  the  time." 

She  :  "  And  you  never  said  a  word  to 
let  me  believe  that  you.  had  any  such  feel 
ing  toward  me ! " 

ffe:  "I_I_» 

She:  "You  would  have  parted  from 
me  without  a  syllable  to  suggest  it  — 
perhaps  parted  from  me  forever  ?  "  After 
a  pause  of  silent  humiliation  for  him  : 
' c  Do  you  call  that  brave  or  generous  ? 
Do  you  call  it  manly  —  supposing,  as  you 
hoped,  that /had  any  such  feeling?" 


THE    REGISTER.  75 

He:  "  No ;  it  was  cowardly,  it  was 
mean,  it  was  unmanly.  I  see  it  now, 
but  I  will  spend  my  life  in  repairing  the 
wrong  if  you  will  only  let  me."  He  im 
petuously  advances  some  paces  toward 
her,  and  then  stops,  arrested  by  her 
irresponsive  attitude. 

She,  with  a  light  sigh,  and  looking 
down  at  the  paper,  which  she  has  con 
tinued  to  hold  between  her  hands : 
4 '  There  was  a  time  —  a  moment  —  when 
I  might  have  answered  as  you  wrish." 

He:  "  Oh !  then  there  will  be  again. 
If  you  have  changed  once,  you.  may 
change  once  more.  Let  me  hope  that 
some  time  —  any  time,  dearest  —  " 

She,  quenching  him  with  a  look  : 
"  Mr.  Ransom,  I  shall  never  change 
toward  you  !  You  confess  that  you  had 


76  THE    REGISTER. 

your  opportunity,  and  that  you  de 
spised  it." 

He:  "Oh!  not  despised  !" 

She:  "  Neglected  it." 

He:  "Not  wilfully  —  no.  I  confess 
that  I  was  stupidly,  vilely,  pusillan  — 
pusillan  —  illani  —  " 

She:  "'Mously  — " 

He  :  "  Thanks  —  'mously  unworthy  of 
it ;  but  I  did  n't  despise  it ;  I  did  n't 
neglect  it ;  and  if  you  will  only  let  me 
show  by  a  lifetime  of  devotion  how  dearly 
and  truly  I  have  loved  3*011  from  the  first 
moment  I  drove  that  cow  away  —  " 

She:  "  Mr.  Ransom,  I  have  told  you 
that  I  should  never  change  toward  you. 
That  cow  was  nothing  when  weighed  in 
the  balance  against  your  being  willing  to 
leave  a  poor  girl,  whom  you  supposed 


THE   REGISTER.  77 

interested  in  von,  and  to  whom  you  had 
paid  the  most  marked  attention,  without 
a  word  to  show  her  that  you  cared  for 
her.  What  is  a  cow,  or  a  whole  herd  of 
cows,  as  compared  with  obliging  a  young 
lad}'  to  ofer  you  money  that  3-011  had  n't 
earned,  and  then  savagely  flinging  it  back 
in  her  face  ?  A  yoke  of  oxen  would  be 
nothing  —  or  a  mad  bull." 

He:  "  Oh,  I  acknowledge  it!     I  con 
fess  it." 

'She:  "  And  you  own  that  I  am  right 
in  refusing  to  listen  to  you  now  ?  " 
He,  desolately  :  "  Yes,  yes." 
She:    "It   seems    that   you   gave   me 
lessons  in  order  to   be  with  me,  and  if 
possible    to    interest    me   in   you ;    and 
then   you   were    going   away   without   a 
word." 


78  THE    REGISTER. 

He,  with  a  groan :  "  It  was  only  because 
I  was  afraid  to  speak." 

She:  "  Oh,  is  that  any  excuse?" 

He:  "No;  none." 

She:  "  A  man  ought  alwaj-s  to  have 
courage."  After  a  pause,  in  which  he 
stands  before  her  with  bowed  head : 
"  Then  there  is  nothing  for  me  but  to 
give  you  this  mone}\" 

He,  with  sudden  energy  :  "  This  is  too 
much!  I  —  " 

She,  offering  him  the  bank-notes  :  ' ;  No  ; 
it  is  the  exact  sum.  I  counted  it  very 
carefully." 

He:  "I  won't  take  it;  I  can't!  I'll 
never  take  it !  " 

She^  standing  with  the  money  in  her 
outstretched  hand:  "I  have  }Tour  word 
as  a  gentleman  that  you  will  take  it." 


THE   REGISTER.  79 

He,  gasping:  "  Oh,  well  —  I  will  take 
it  —  I  will  —  "  He  clutches  the  money, 
and  rushes  toward  the  door.  "  Good- 
evening  ;  ah  —  good-by  —  " 

She,  calling  after  him  :  "  The  receipt, 
Mr.  Ransom  !  Please  sign  this  receipt ! " 
She  waves  the  paper  in  the  air. 

He:  "  Oh,  yes,  certainly!  Where  is 
it — 'what  —  which  —  "  He  rushes  back 
to  her,  and  seizing  the  receipt,  feels 
blindly  about  for  the  pen  and  ink. 
"  Where  shall  I  sign?" 

She:  "  Read  it  first." 

He:  "  Oh,  it 's  all  —  all  right  —  " 

She:  "  I  insist  upon  your  reading  it. 
It 's  a  business  transaction.  Read  it 
aloud." 

He,  desperately:  "  Well,  well!"  He 
reads.  "  '  Received  from  Miss  Ethel  Reed 


80  THE    REGISTER. 


in  full,  for  twenty- five  lessons  in  oil-painting, 
one  hundred  and  twenty-Jive  dollars,  and  her 
hand,  heart,  and  dearest  love  forever:  "  He 
looks  up  at  her.  "  Ethel!" 

She,  smiling  :  "  Sign  it,  sign  it !  " 

He,  catching  her  in  his  arms  and  kiss 
ing  her  :  u  Oh  yes  —  here  /  " 

She,  pulling  a  little  away  from  him, 
and  laughing:  "Oh,  oh!  I  only  wanted 
one  signature !  Twenty  autographs  are 
too  many,  unless  you  '11  let  me  trade  them 
off,  as  the  collectors  do." 

He:  "  No  ;  keep  them  all !  I  could  n't 
think  of  letting  any  one  else  have  them. 
One  more !  " 

She :  "  No  ;  it 's  quite  enough  !  "  She 
frees  herself,  and  retires  beyond  the  table. 
u  This  unexpected  affection  —  " 

He :  "  Is  it  unexpected  —  seriously  ?  " 


THE    REGISTER.  81 

She:  "  What  do  3-011  mean?" 

He:  "Oh,  nothing!" 

She:  "Yes,  tell  me  !" 

He :  "  I  hoped  —  I  thought —  perhaps 

—  that  you  might  have  been  prepared  for 
some  such  demonstration  on  my  part." 

She  :  "  And  why  did  you  think  —  hope 

—  perhaps  —  that,   Mr.    Ransom,  may  I 
ask?" 

He:  "  If  I  hadn't,  how  should  I  have 
dared  to  speak  ?  " 

She:  "Dared?  You  were  obliged  to 
speak !  Well,  since  it 's  all  over,  I  don't 
'mind  saying  that  I  did  have  some  slight 
apprehensions  that  something  in  the  way 
of  a  declaration  might  be  extorted  from 
you." 

He:  "Extorted?  Oh!"  He  makes 
an  impassioned  rush  toward  her. 


82  THE   REGISTER. 

She,  keeping  the  table  between  them : 
"  No,  no." 

He :  "  Oh,  I  merely  wished  to  ask  why 
you  chose  to  make  me  suffer  so,  after  I 
had  come  to  the  point." 

She:  "  Ask  it  across  the  table,  then." 
After  a  moment  of  reflection.  "  I  made 
3'ou  suffer  —  I  made  you  suffer  —  so  that 
you  might  have  a  realizing  sense  of  what 
you  had  made  me  suffer." 

He,  enraptured  by  this  confession : 
u  Oh,  you  angel !  " 

She,  with  tender  magnanimity  :  "  No  ; 
only  a  woman  —  a  poor,  trusting,  foolish 
woman  ! "  She  permits  him  to  surround 
the  table,  with  imaginable  results.  Then, 
with  her  head  on  his  shoulder.  "  You'll 
never  let  me  regret  it,  will  you,  darling? 
You  '11  never  oblige  me  to  punish  you 


THE   REGISTER.  83 

again,  dearest,  will  you?  Oh,  it  hurt  me 
far  worse  to  see  y our  pain  than  it  did  you 
to  —  to  —  feel  it !  "  On  the  other  side  of 
the  partition,  Mr.  Grinnidge's  pipe  falls 
from  his  lips,  parted  in  slumber,  and 
shivers  to  atoms  on  the  register.  "  Oh  ! " 
She  flies  at  the  register  with  a  shriek  of 
dismay,  and  is  about  to  close  it.  "That 
wretch  has  been  listening,  and  has  heard 
every  word  !  "  ' 

He,  preventing  her :  "What  wretch? 
Where?" 

She:  "  Don't  you  hear  him,  mumbling 
and  grumbling  there  ?  " 

Grinnidge:  "  Well,  I  swear!  Cash 
value  of  twenty-five  dollars,  and  untold 
toil  in  coloring  it !  " 

Ransom,  listening  with  an  air  of  mysti 
fication:  "  Who's  that?" 


84  THE   REGISTER. 

She:  "Gummidge,  Grimmidge — what 
ever  3'ou  called  him.  Oh  ! "  She  arrests 
herself  in  consternation.  "  Now  I  have 
done  it ! " 

He:  "Done  what?" 

She:  "Oh —  nothing!" 

He:  "I  don't  understand.  Do  3*011 
mean  to  say  that  my  friend  Grinnidge's 
room  is  on  the  other  side  of  the  wall,  and 
that  you  can  hear  him  talk  through  the 
register?"  She  preserves  the  silence  of 
abject  terror.  He  stoops  over  the  regis 
ter,  and  calls  down  it.  "Grinnidge! 
Hallo ! " 

Grinnidge  :  "  Hallo,  yourself!  " 

Ransom,  to  Miss  Reed  :  "  Sounds  like 
the  ghostly  squeak  of  the  phonograph." 
To  Grinnidge  :  "  What's  the  trouble?  " 

Grinnidge :  "  Smashed  my  pipe.  Dozed 


THE   REGISTER.  85 

off  and  let  it  drop  on  this  infernal  reg 
ister." 

Ransom,  turning  from  the  register  with 
impressive  deliberation:  u  Miss  Reed, 
ma}T  I  ask  how  you  came  to  know  that 
his  name  was  Gummidge,  or  Grimmidge, 
or  whatever  I  called  him  ?  " 

She:  "Oh,  dearest,  I  can't  tell  you! 
Or  —  yes,  I  had  better."  Impulsively  : 
"I  will  judge  you  by  myself,  /could 
forgive  you  anything !  " 

He,  doubtfully  :   "  Oh,  could  you?  " 

She:  "Everything!  I  had  — I  had 
better  make  a  clean  breast  of  it.  Yes, 
I  had.  Though  I  don't  like  to.  I  — I 
listened !  " 

He:  "Listened?" 

She:  "Through  the  register  to  —  to 

—  what  —  you  —  were  saying  before  you 

—  came  in  here."     Her  head  droops. 


86  THE   REGISTER. 

He:  "  Then  you  heard  everything?  " 

She:  "Kill  me,  but  don't  look  so  at 
me  !  It  was  accidental  at  first  —  indeed 
it  was ;  and  then  I  recognized  }Tour 
voice  ;  and  then  I  knew  you  were  talking 
about  me  ;  and  I  had  so  much  at  stake  ; 
and  I  did  love  }x>u  so  dearly  !  You  will 
forgive  me,  darling?  It  wasn't  as  if  I 
were  listening  with  any  bad  motive." 

He,  taking  her  in  his  arms  :  ' '  Forgive 
you?    Of  course   I   do.     But  you  must 
change  this  room  at  once,  Ethel ;    you 
see,  you  hear  everything  on  the  other  * 
side,  too." 

She :  "  Oh,  not  if  you  whisper  on  this. 
You  couldn't  hear  us?"  At  a  dubious 
expression  of  his  :  u  You  didn't  hear  us? 
If  you  did,  I  can  never  forgive  you  !  " 

He :    "  It  was    accidental  at  first  — 


THE   REGISTER.  87 

indeed  it  was ;  and  then  I  recognized 
your  voice ;  and  then  I  knew  }rou  were 
talking  about  me  ;  and  I  had  so  much  at 
stake  ;  and  I  did  love  you  so  dearly  !  " 

She :  ' '  All  that  has  nothing  whatever  to 
do  with  it.  How  much  did  you  hear  ?  " 

He,  with  exemplary  meekness  :  "  Only 
what  you  were  saying  before  Grinnidge 
came  in.  You  did  n't  whisper  then.  I 
had  to  wait  there  for  him  while  —  " 

She:  " While  you  were  giving  your 
good  resolutions  a  rest?  " 

He:  u  While  I  was  giving  my  good 
resolutions  a  rest." 

She:  "  And  that  accounts  for  your  de 
termination  to  humble  }Tourself  so  ?  " 

He:  "  It  seemed  perfectly  providential 
that  I  should  have  known  just  what  con 
ditions  you  were  going  to  exact  of  me." 


88  THE    REGISTER. 

She:  "  Oh,  don't  make  light  of  it !  I 
can  tell  you  it 's  a  very  serious  matter." 

He  :  "It  was  very  serious  for  me  when 
you  did  n't  meet  my  self-abasement  as  you 
had  led  me  to  expect  you  would." 

She  :  "Don't  make  fun!  I 'rn  trying 
to  think  whether  I  can  forgive  you." 

He,  with  insinuation  :  c '  Don't  you  be 
lieve  you  could  think  better  if  you  put 
your  head  on  my  shoulder  ?  " 

She  :  "  Nonsense  !  Then  I  should  for 
give  you  without  thinking."  After  a  sea 
son  of  reflection  :  ' '  No,  I  can't  forgive 
you.  I  never  could  forgive  eavesdrop 
ping.  It 's  too  low." 

He)  in  astonishment:  "Why,  you  did 
it  yourself !  " 

She :  u  But  3-011  began  it.  Besides, 
it 's  very  different  for  a  man.  Women 


THE    REGISTER.  89 

are  weak,  poor,  helpless  creatures.  They 
have  to  use  finesse.  But  a  man  should 
be  above  it." 

He :  "  You  said  you  could  forgive  me 
anything." 

She :  "  Ah,  but  I  didn't  know  what 
}X)u  'd  been  doing  !  " 

He,  with  pensive  resignation,  and  a 
feint  of  going  :  "  Then  I  suppose  it's  all 
over  between  us." 

She,  relenting :  "  If  you  could  think  of 
any  reason  why  I  should  forgive  3-011  — " 

He:  "I  can't." 

She,  after  consideration :  u  Do  }'ou 
suppose  Mr.  Grumage,  or  Grimidge, 
heard  too  ?  " 

He:  "No;  Grinniclge  is  a  very  high- 
principled  fellow,  and  would  n't  listen  ; 
besides,  he  was  n't  there,  you  know." 


90  THE    REGISTER. 

She:  "  Well,  then,  I  will  forgive  you 
on  these  grounds."  He  instantly  catches 
her  to  his  heart.  "  But  these  alone,  re 
member." 

He,  rapturously  :  "  Oh,  on  any  !  " 

She,  tenderly:  "And  you'll  always 
be  devoted?  And  nice?  And  not  try 
to  provoke  me?  Or  neglect  me?  Or 
anything  ?  " 

He:  "Always!     Never!" 

She:  "Oh,  you  dear,  sweet,  simple 
old  thing  —  how  I  do  love  you  !  " 

Grinnidge,  who  has  been  listening  at 
tentively  to  every  word  at  the  register  at 
his  side :  "  Hansom,  if  you  don't  want 
me  to  go  stark  mad,  shut  the  register  !  " 

Ransom,  about  to  compty  :  "Oh,  poor 
old  man  !  I  forgot  it  was  open  !  " 

Miss  Reed,  preventing  him  :  "No!     If 


THE    REGISTER.  91 

he  has  been  vile  enough  to  listen  at  a 
register,  let  him  suffer.  Come,  sit  down 
here,  and  I  '11  tell  you  just  when  I  began 
to  care  for  }^ou.  It  was  long  before  the 
cow.  Do  you  remember  that  first  morn 
ing  after  you  arrived  —  "  She  drags 
him  close  to  the  register,  so  that  every 
word  may  tell  upon  the  envious  Grinnidge, 
on  whose  manifestations  of  acute  despair, 
a  rapid  curtain  descends. 


University  Press:  John  Wilson  &  Son,  Cambridge, 


